The other day, I wrote about the nurturing voice within. I wrote about being amazed at how difficult it is for so many of us to locate that voice. Today, I will give you a nurturance practice.
This is one of the simplest and yet, most dreaded homework assignments I give clients. I ask them to say, out loud, “I love you (insert your name here)” to themselves every night before going to bed. It’s a kind of sound healing. I have them say it out loud, because thoughts are registered in a different part of the brain when heard through the ear than when thought in the mind. Perhaps more importantly, all sound entering the ear hits the vagus nerve, otherwise known as the wandering nerve, which touches nearly every organ in the body.
Sound is vibration and words are a powerful form of energy. Speaking these words out loud to yourself, allows their energy to connect with every organ in your body. When you use a loving, nurturing tone of voice, it is like having a sweet lullaby sung to you. So, when you practice this, let yourself open to receive the energy. Simply be with it in the moment and let your body take it in. Your brain will be re-wiring at the same time.
You would think this is simple enough, but the resistance to it is high. There is a sense of embarrassment around it. Some people think it’s narcissistic or even immoral to love yourself.
Right….it’s much better to go on saying to yourself, “I’m stupid. What a dolt. Get your act together. You’re lazy. Blah blah blah.”
I had a tough time with this too, when I first started, but I persisted. I’ve been doing it for a little over two years, long enough to improvise on it now and then with things like, “I forgive you,” or “I love everything about you, great and small.” Here’s the power of it: the other week, I actually caught my inner conversation (after making a mistake) go like this, “I love you. I love you too.” (I guess there are two of me in there, but hey, at least they love each other!)
When you try this (and yes, kids, you can try this at home), you may find yourself feeling silly or shy. You may find that your inner critic has a heyday with it. It’s not important that you completely believe it right now. There’s at least one small part of you that does and a very big part of you that longs to know it’s true.
Simply practice. Say, “I love you (your name here)” lovingly. Cup your hands around your ears and down to your mouth to bring the sound of your voice right up to them. Suspend judgment. Let it resonate. Do it before you fall asleep. (And yes, there’s double meaning in that) Start tonight.
It doesn’t have to be hard with years of heavy lifting. You’ve tried that already anyway haven’t you? I know I have and it doesn’t work.
Why not let it be easy?
Keep it simple, beautiful one!
Words and photos copyright(c) April 2009, Kathy Loh, all rights reserved
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