The other day, I wrote about the nurturing voice within. I wrote about being amazed at how difficult it is for so many of us to locate that voice. Today, I will give you a nurturance practice.
This is one of the simplest and yet, most dreaded homework assignments I give clients. I ask them to say, out loud, “I love you (insert your name here)” to themselves every night before going to bed. It’s a kind of sound healing. I have them say it out loud, because thoughts are registered in a different part of the brain when heard through the ear than when thought in the mind. Perhaps more importantly, all sound entering the ear hits the vagus nerve, otherwise known as the wandering nerve, which touches nearly every organ in the body.
Sound is vibration and words are a powerful form of energy. Speaking these words out loud to yourself, allows their energy to connect with every organ in your body. When you use a loving, nurturing tone of voice, it is like having a sweet lullaby sung to you. So, when you practice this, let yourself open to receive the energy. Simply be with it in the moment and let your body take it in. Your brain will be re-wiring at the same time.
You would think this is simple enough, but the resistance to it is high. There is a sense of embarrassment around it. Some people think it’s narcissistic or even immoral to love yourself.
Right….it’s much better to go on saying to yourself, “I’m stupid. What a dolt. Get your act together. You’re lazy. Blah blah blah.”
I had a tough time with this too, when I first started, but I persisted. I’ve been doing it for a little over two years, long enough to improvise on it now and then with things like, “I forgive you,” or “I love everything about you, great and small.” Here’s the power of it: the other week, I actually caught my inner conversation (after making a mistake) go like this, “I love you. I love you too.” (I guess there are two of me in there, but hey, at least they love each other!)
When you try this (and yes, kids, you can try this at home), you may find yourself feeling silly or shy. You may find that your inner critic has a heyday with it. It’s not important that you completely believe it right now. There’s at least one small part of you that does and a very big part of you that longs to know it’s true.
Simply practice. Say, “I love you (your name here)” lovingly. Cup your hands around your ears and down to your mouth to bring the sound of your voice right up to them. Suspend judgment. Let it resonate. Do it before you fall asleep. (And yes, there’s double meaning in that) Start tonight.
It doesn’t have to be hard with years of heavy lifting. You’ve tried that already anyway haven’t you? I know I have and it doesn’t work.
Why not let it be easy?
Keep it simple, beautiful one!
Words and photos copyright(c) April 2009, Kathy Loh, all rights reserved
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what a lovely (no pun intended) post, Kathy! I’m going to give it a try.
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Keep me posted on your results Leah! – Kathy
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Loved this post, Kathy. I have a similar practice where I ask my clients to say “I am beloved.” Then I move them into writing a love letter to themselves – and damn do they have trouble with that. As did I when I first did it!!! Yet we could all quickly and easily list all our perceived faults.
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I love it! What a beautiful assignment. Thanks for sharing it. Thanks for being a light in the world – Kathy
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Wow! Kathy – this is synchronicty because in addition to the polarities work – I’m so interested in this work you discuss here – BECAUSE, I’ve recently started working with a coach who was trained and used to coach for Lucid Living and we have started doing this work as well!!! I’m doing it with clients to – my previous coach had also introduced me to the work and I find there is such a need for it – I attract many clients who still are stuck with hurt from the past and it’s such as great way to coach on a deeper level than the CTI model alone allows. How cool! I did see the seminar advertised and will see if I can do it – the time difference is very big though!
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Great post Kathy. I came over from the CTI discussion board.
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Hi Kathy.
You’re right, I do feel silly… but playful doing this. It’s just after 8 am here and I couldn’t wait until tonight. This an excellent exercise. Thanks for sharing.
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Hey Kathy!
I had to laugh briefly because it reminded me of Stuart Smalley (from SNL) sitting in front of the mirror saying, “I’m good enough, I’m smart enough and gosh darnit people like me!”
I’ve been doing intuition medicine meditations right before sleeping and I’m going to add this to my ritual.
Thanks!
Sheila
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Oh I so get what you mean, Sheila! Fond memories of that one 😉
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Thanks for the reminder to practice this. I had forgotten how powerful saying “I love you” to self can be. I just did it again, out loud and wow, what a wave of emotions… I had never thought to do this right before bed, my husband is going to raise an eyebrow for sure. I’ll have to urge him to try it too.
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This nurturance practice made me smile. I’m just loving myself up already! Thank you, Kathy!
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Tracy, Jamie, Davina and Beth – wow – it’s like a party (and wouldn’t that be fun). I’m so appreciative of each of you and your visit to the blog means a lot to me.
As I get more and more notes about this post, I find myself musing what it would be like if everyone in the world went to sleep saying “I love you” to themselves, to anyone else in the room, to the stars and the moon and mother earth. Just imagine……..
Beth – hope you give Leza and Jeanine at Lucid Living a call. You will love what they do and they are wonderful women besides.
And Tracy – let me know about the raised eyebrow (hee hee)
love to you all – Kathy
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Thanks for the beautiful reminder Kathy! Silly or not, it just feels good, doesn’t it.
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It sure does feel good and that makes me think of how we “grown ups” might enjoy re-membering silliness! Who doesn’t need
a little silliness in their lives. Let’s all laugh today.
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[…] the “I love you” exercise I wrote about in an earlier […]
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[…] Saying “I love you” to me (prior post) […]
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