I had a fabulous weekend! I spent three days coming face to face with how I create my reality by way of what I truly desire along with what beliefs I hold and choices I’ve made that might work in opposition to those desires. I’d been through this Lucid Living course before and what was noticeably different for me was the embodiment and confidence I have that this new choice this new reality I am creating is sustainable. I am claiming responsibility for my life. I am my own authority.
Then I ran headlong into Monday morning “back at the ranch.” I sifted through pages of email (most of it not worth reading), multiple requests for schedule changes, requests for my expertise and time for free, back-logged social media strings with which to catch up. I got really agitated.
I know enough to honor where I am at and be with what I am feeling before trying to move on or shift into higher resonance. So, I sat with my agitation and very quickly I got an image of the beach. There is this thing that happens in knee deep water when the receding waters leaving the beach run into the incoming waters rushing toward shore. They bump up against each other and create a huge splash.
That’s what is happening with me. The outgoing reality is bumping up against the incoming reality. It takes time for things to shift. I’m caught in the bump and splash and it irritates me. Except, now that I see what it is, I’m moving from agitated to excited. I call it evidence that I am on my intended track.
I took my agitation into the woods for a walk, hoping to entrain with rhythm of the trees which seem relatively calm in the light drizzle of the morning. While on the trail, I got some external information that mirrored my internal state. First, I saw a vulture soaring over my house. The vulture eats carrion, that which is already dead. It is about purification and releasing. I am purifying my beliefs and choices so as to claim more responsibility and powerful new beliefs and choices. I am releasing old baggage. Let the vultures come and finish it off.
Then, I saw a centipede. It’s the first one I’ve seen in my more than three years of walking this particular trail. I laughed and said to Harley, the lab that accompanied me, “Wow, look how fast it goes. I guess I’d go fast too if I had 100 legs.” Centipedes are good luck. They are also about coordinated effort, the kind that is unconsciously competent. Many small steps will make me agile and help me move quickly.
I mused upon the fact that the vulture soars high and the centipede is about as close to the ground as you can get and both thrive off of decaying matter. All that is decaying is good compost, fertilizer for new growth. I did some good inner work this weekend. Now my outer world is reminding me to follow through with my intentions. I am reminded: purify, release, coordinate my efforts.
All of it informs me that I am in the perfect place; the place of tension between; where things seem out of alignment for awhile as shift happens. My willingness to be uncomfortable, to surrender to agitation, is part of the purification and nurturance process. It will keep me from washing ashore too soon without proper completion and it keeps me from slipping back into default mode in an effort to preserve an illusion of comfort.
Today I am the vulture and the centipede. I am soaring and grounded at one and the same time. No wonder I feel agitated. Or, did feel agitated, because in recognizing these things, I am filled with gratitude and I find myself happy and hopeful again.
With one hundred feet on the ground my resonance is soaring!
What feedback is your current reality offering you?
How are you in-formed today?
copyright (c) Kathy Loh, May 2009, all rights reserved