Let’s make up a story….
Let’s say you’ve been married 10 years and you’ve not had much luck getting pregnant and you find out that someone else did and your husband is the father.
Let’s say, after much drama and therapy, you decide to make a go of it imagining that, if the marriage survives, it will be an amazing kind of love story.
Let’s say, you move from Southern California to Northern California and you start your life over. You find a house, in a delightful neighborhood, that accommodate your dog and cat; you settle in and the landlords become friends of yours.
Let’s say that part of that new life leads you to more seriously explore your creative talents instead of opening up your old business in a new location.
Let’s say it turns out you just pressed a pause button and that, with lack of support from without or even within, you succumb to your inner critic and return to that money-making business with which you had success before.
Let’s say that the marriage does not dissolve, though your creative dreams seem to, and you move from the transitional rental home with the big question mark aura around it to your pride-of-ownership let’s-put-a-period-on-this-thing home.
Let’s say things go along swimmingly for another tenyears.
Let’s say a shark in the waters and a large rogue wave rudely awaken you from a very long swim and you face the facts that the marriage never fully repaired itself and you become something of a wanderer.
Let’s say that wandering takes you to house-sittings, road-trips, more workshops than would fill a catalog, and roommates until you settle in a rental in a quiet mountain location with a beach nearby.
Let’s say that place you landed became your place of healing and solitude; that when you were ready to emerge, you knew you were going to give your all to your creative endeavors, even if the actual forms of those endeavors had changed; that in this healing place you also tamed that inner critic and fully supported yourself regardless of the opinions of others.
Let’s say in that emergence you crave community and commit to moving back to the old ‘hood.
Let’s say you get a call that leads you to a rental in that old ‘hood that has much of what you want in terms of natural surroundings and a pool, but the house, well, the house is old and the floor and windows have some “quaint” angles to them, the kind that make the inner ear question reality.
Let’s say you plunk your cash down anyway, go home to your little mountain sanctuary and then find yourself tossing all night. You know your body is sending the message loud and clear – “I can’t do this!”
Let’s say you call your old landlady, the one who is still your friend; the one who rented you that first house in N CA and ask her advice regarding how much is actually fair rent for a decent place in the old ‘hood.
Let’s say she says “If you are willing to spend that much [the amount you plunked down on the quaint and crooked place], you can have my house. I was going to charge $300 to $500 more for it, but if I can rent it to you I’m glad to reduce the rent to meet your price.”
Let’s say that house she is offering you turns out to be the very same house you lived in when you were deciding whether or not to stay married; when you were attempting to honor your creative talents and pursue your passion, but quit.
Let’s say, you say yes.
Well, that’s exactly what happened to me.
The way it happened, a phone call, a deposit, a sleepless night and another phone call all within 36 hours is what tickles me.
Someone asked me if I was nervous about being in the house and the energy of my past being there.
I’m not at all. I’ve been in the house. As soon as I walked through the door, I recognized the smell (as each home has its unique fragrance). I “saw” the ghosts of my past and I didn’t feel any anger or sadness toward them, only compassion. This is a good sign that I have truly healed. I also saw the opportunity to offer to the ghosts, especially the ghost of me, great comfort from the future. I love me and who I’ve become and all I would want the past me to know is how happy and loved she truly is; that she can be who she wants to be and create what she wants to create, fully supported.
Now this house has become the fork-in-the-road house, where two paths diverged. Back then, I took the road more or less traveled. Now I cycle back and live into the choice, the one that has to do with me and not my relationship, from a new place as a new me.
It’s not about arrivals, make goods and do-overs as much as the sacred and amazing opportunity to continue to be an explorer in the mystery of life.
And so now, I am living into this new perspective of:
Rewind – Splice – New Ending
Rewind the tape to that moment in time
Splice it and store away the old story
Write and live into the new story
Sure, what happened in-between happened and whether or not it needed to is moot, because it did.
What I do know is that I don’t need to tell the old story anymore and that living into the new story, rewrites the past anyway.
I know this new-old house served as a transitional home in the past and will do so again.
And I know that I’m excited about what’s possible in this one-delicious-moment-after-another now.
And you, dear reader, what is the story that’s grown stale and what is the new one that wants to emerge?
I welcome and relish your comments.
If you’d like to explore this by way of coaching, drop me a line and let’s see what we can create together.
copyright (c) May 2010, Kathy J Loh, All Rights Reserved
Wow Kathy! That is an amazing story. The Universe must have something planned for you. Clearly you are meant to be in that house.
I wish you infinite joy and love in your new home. And it is new…
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Oh I think you are right Jenny – this is just the beginning of the big adventure, huh? thanks for your well wishes.
I receive them fully and with joy.
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Truly an amazing story. I wish you continued joy and creativity. We have very similar stories. It makes me happy to see you have not let the past impede your future. If you are able, I’d like to talk to you more about this, I am not quite as far along in the process.
Blessings 🙂
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ccbravo – you are welcome to contact me about coaching and can do so by way of my
website email: kathyloh@coachkathy.com. You can also, if you prefer, subscribe to Full Moon Path and the Mystery
Messages or sign up to be on the email list for my CoachKathy offerings (workshops, teleseminars, etc)
Thank you for your well wishes. We are all here to help each other along our journeys. Wishing you the love and light of the full moon to guide you on your way.
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Lots of ways to start stories……..reel the reader/listener in slowly or start with an explosion. You had me at the first sentence and I am truly amazed at your willingness to be so transparent.
xx00
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Thanks Karen – time and healing make being transparent easy. I suspect it has a lot
to do with forgiveness and compassion.
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Wow, beautiful one. Amazing and ever-evolving story.
My own life is unfolding in interesting ways around “finding my home”
Thank you for sharing your journey with us all. You are amazing.
I can’t wait to talk to you about all of this. You inspire me.
Thank you so much, Kathy.
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Lori – I look forward to hearing your own evolving story about finding home. A conversation – that will be heavenly!
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Kathy, our journeys have been so similar! (I suspected that was true.) So glad you’re getting a chance to love the person you were into the glory of the person you are.
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Love how you put it Sally “love the person you were into the glory of the person you are.” Soul sisters huh? you bet!
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Now I know why you have commented on my Musings in the past and mentioned how close our paths are. And this new path for you has ties to powerful lessons of the past (may we never forget our lessons). The beauty, however, is solely your creation. There is glory (as Sally mentioned), unfolding, and supreme joy in all of it. The Universe is aptly providing, and you are quite aptly stepping into. What I love about you, Kathy, is that you are a Goddess. Thank you for sharing your vulnerability and the strength it holds.
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oh, yes!
“living into the new story, rewrites the past anyway.”
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Hi there artyowza – i’ve missed you on Twitter…must be a time zone thingy. Thanks for stopping by. Great to see you!
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Hi Kathy–
I never check my Linkedin messages but, for some reason, I did tonight. There’s such a beautiful story of redemption here that literally makes me want to dance for joy. I’m going to be thinking about this for days. I’ll look forward to chatting about it with you!
you’re an incredible blessing to me–j
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Thanks Jim – gosh, never question a chance encounter like that huh? I’ll be very curious
to hear what it means to you. Thanks so much for reading. The blessing works both
ways, btw!
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Hi Kathy,
Finally getting to your blog as I make my comment fairy rounds. What a wonderful story. So brave and creative and uplifting. I wish you the very best on your road less traveled by! Aren’t they pretty? No conformist sprawl on the sides, no chains of sameness, no people fighting for an invented piece of pie.
Enjoy!
Giulietta, Inspirational Rebel
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Thanks Giulietta – I’m reading your comment long after you posted it. I have been so in the throes of moving and
then a 3 day workshop. Just now, on Solstice, awakening to my new digs and digging out of boxes…including
the email inbox. Your comment buoys my spirits just when I need it.
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Kathy,
I sense magic all around in your life. I feel that we are always rewriting our stories as new insight emerge from deep within.
Bravo dear!! To new magical beginnings!!
Much love,
Marjory
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Marjory, thank you! I need the reminder of magic as I sift through the boxes and my wonderment at
what I’ve done. Was it the right choice? Will my missing aches recede as the days go by and I am more
settled? I’ll be back blogging about it soon. For now, I am noticing a dove has come to say hello right outside my
window as I respond to you. How appropriate is that? much love to you!
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This sound like the kind of story that should unfold into a movie and be shown on the big screen…truly amazing! May your “new” story continue to unfold in magical and amazing ways.
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Thanks so much Bev – so far so good and I expect to post again soon (it’s been quite some time)
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What a lovely “story”…and I love that you decided to create the life story you wanted by rewriting it…so inspiring! Thanks for sharing Kathy.
(I found my way here via Beverly’s blog)
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Thanks for stopping by Katie – How great that you found me by way of Beverly’s blog and now I’ve found
you by way of your comment! much appreciation to you……..
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I meandered over from your latest post, and you got me again. The universe works in beautiful and mysterious ways doesn’t it? Thank you for sharing this.
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Hi Danette – appreciate your meandering around the Full Moon Path 🙂 Yes, I agree the Universe
works in beautiful and mysterious ways. Sometimes I feel otherwise, but maybe that’s only
when Mercury is retrograde – ha ha.
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Hi Kathy, Don’t know how I got so far behind in reading your story. Just beautiful and what I needed at this time. I am so grateful to see you “coming out the other side” as it were. I will continue to catch your later works tomorrow as it’s now time to quit for the evening. I too need to look at my current position as temporary and a “leg” in the journey I will be traveling. I’m with you all the way, always. Love, Me
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