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Archive for the ‘Healing’ Category

Contemplate:

Creating art for near instant destruction…

Creativity as a ritual, as meditation, for your spiritual sanity…

Living from spirit, freely, released from ego attachments…

Joy for the moment…

Taking something to the “edge of its collapse”…(Goldsworthy)

Finding who you are, re-membering who you are in/by the act of creating…

Knowing the whole and each small bit at one and the same time…

Being in-formed by your part in the creative act…

Here are two great inspirations I want to share with you today:

The film: Rivers and Tides: Andy Goldsworthy Working with Time

(here is a YouTube exerpt)

Sand Dancer – in New Zealand…art in the sand that gets washed away with the incoming tide

This is some serious dawdling!

Letting go….letting go…

(note: if you can’t see these, then go to http://www.YouTube.com and search:

Andy Goldsworthy Rivers and Tides

Sand Dancer

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I had quite the Solstice (and birthday) weekend. Rather than the usual adventures with friends and rituals for planting the seeds of my intention, I experienced an emotional roller-coaster ride as I released more residue from my, gosh-I-don’t-even-recognize-myself-in-it-anymore past.

It fascinates me how things converge in a 48 hour period. Solstice is a portal. It’s a time of releasing the old and moving toward the new vision with powerful intentions and discipline in thought, word and action. Saturday morning, I pulled the angel card Signs. It was a reminder to pay special attention that day. Those of you who read my blog know that I write about getting our information from the world around us. Our reality is our feedback and signs are what stand out to us as messages or pieces of a bigger puzzle.

In my meditation, I discovered an energy ball of anger still lingering in my heart from a brief love affair I had after my marriage was over. As I worked with it, I bumped into a piece of my shadow and I brought it home. I was ready to take responsibility for some rather less-than-attractive behaviors. Doing so, released the anger and I felt a space open in my heart. I asked the angels what would replace that anger ball and they said, “That’s the space where love can come in.”

Then, I got a surge of signs:

  • My landlord was clearing out the garage and having to move some of my things to do so. The garage houses boxes of things from my “past life” as a music teacher, as a wife and owner of a home much larger than where I live now.
  • An abandoned bird nest lying on the trail on my walk
  • A Jay mimicking the cry of a hawk
  • That same Jay dive-bombed by a hummingbird
  • A skeleton of a baby deer, fresh in the last 48 hours, reminding me I’d dreamed of a baby mountain lion the night before

I was being informed of clearing away the old, empty nests, trickery, camouflage and death.

Empty Nest 6/20/09

Empty Nest - (Kathy Loh)

  • While floating in the pool, I was entertained by a brilliant red-orange dragonfly darting here and there overhead
  • By way of a complete fluke, I discovered my ex-husband had remarried last December
  • A hawk landed in the tree right outside my window
  • I sighted the first set of baby quail for the season
  • Butterflies of many varieties danced with the warm summer breeze

I was informed of big picture, vision, gliding on the current, nurturing, sentinel, transformation and re-birth.

The discovery of my ex’s marriage stunned me. My body took a hit and my heart was tender. I knew it was a final piece that had to be experienced in order to move forward in my now, much happier and much more peaceful life.  Add to this, Father’s Day reminding me of how much I miss my dad who passed almost 2 years ago. Grief knows no completely predictable timetable  and there are moments when a little more love, a little more loss, a little more hurt or anger needs to be wrung from the heart.

That was all on Saturday.

That night I asked for a closure dream. I got it. I also dreamed of snakes; rattlesnakes, anacondas, water moccasins and two very large non-poisonous snakes. If you’ve been reading this blog, you know I have an affinity with snakes, but in this dream, I knew I had to kill the rattlesnakes or they would come back. Snakes are about rebirth.

Sunday morning, Solstice, I pulled my daily angel card and for the 6th time in 9 days, I pulled New Beginnings. “Hey, angels, you don’t need to hit me over the head with it. Or do you…?”

As I continued to work with signs and images, I got clear that Solstice is not always a lovely, easy, day in which we get to lightly and brightly even if powerfully lay the foundation for our future. Sometimes there are energies to be cleared, like grief, anger, and hurt. This can make things a bit, if not very, jangly.

It’s where we hold our focus that makes a powerful difference. I had the choice of going down with the sadness and the misery or holding gratitude for where I am now and focusing on my heart’s desires for the future.  I wanted to hold my focus on the visions I’ve been developing and can see so clearly.

I could feel the saboteur archetype lurking, like a pack of hyenas restless and pacing, licking their chops. They were just waiting for me to get weak enough to fall easy prey to their attack. When those hyenas pounce, it’s a downward slide into the depths of victimhood and hopelessness.

I could hear the dialog in the back of my mind trying to muscle its way into the whole of my experience.  I could see the images from my past trying to get a toehold on my outlook. Yet, when my saboteur tried to convince me of the sad story, my authenticity Geiger counter rejected it as no longer true. It just kept registering as old story; boooor-ing….

Still, it took discipline for me to turn my gaze away from those visuals of someone taking my place in my old life, my old house, my old garden and toward the place of gratitude for the abundance of joy, ease and love I have in my life today.

It took discipline to hold love for my inner child who was upset about not having a happy birthday and pouted, “I didn’t even get chocolate cake.”

It took discipline to hold at bay the constriction of blame and breathe into the lovely expansive energy of love and goodwill I’ve felt for my ex-husband and ex-love in recent weeks.

It took discipline for me to turn down the volume of the internal dialog that binds me to the past and turn up the volume on the dialog with my soul and my creative impulses.

It’s discipline, pure and simple and I’ve come to define discipline as being a disciple to my soul.

How does this story end?

It ends in a wonderful Sunday afternoon shared with a friend hiking my favorite trail, engrossed in meaningful conversation. It ends with dinner and my hosts toasting me, my birthday and solstice.

And wouldn’t you just know it….I got to make a wish and blow out the candles on my chocolate birthday cake!

PS – thank you to all the wonderful friends who sent me birthday greetings and called me. You are the wealth in my life, true earth angels!

(angel cards I use daily: Healing with the Angels by Doreen Virtue)


Copyright(c) June 2009, Kathy Loh, All Rights Reserved

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I have a fun story to tell you. It’s about a prior post titled “I Love You.”

My friend “Stella” called (the name is changed to protect, not her, but her husband and you’ll soon know why).  She is one of the many people who have written or told me that they are doing the “I Love You” practice. She enthusiastically related to me how it’s going and then told me what happened for her husband. In case you are wondering, they’ve both given me permission to tell it the story.

Not long ago, Stella’s husband, (call him Max) was speaking/presenting at a conference. He invited his parents to attend, because it was an important event for him, and they did. During his talk, he invited his father to come to the stage and eulogize him. Max had seen someone eulogizing another while they were still alive and thought it was a wonderful idea. Unfortunately, Max’s father declined.

Later, Max told Stella he was disappointed. Why would his father not do this?

She asked him, “What did you want to hear from your father?”

Max replied “I’m proud of you son.”

So, Stella offered the “I love you” practice to Max. She told him to just cup his hands around his ears and say “I love you [your name]” and she went on to say that she was experiencing a nice effect from doing it every night before she goes to sleep.

“When are you doing that?” he asked.

She responded, “I do it when you’re not here.”

Stella brilliantly suggested to Max that he use the practice to say “I’m proud of you son.”

A day or two later, Max was journaling about his experience and mentioned to Stella that he thought it was a good technique.

“Have you been doing it?” she asked.

He said he’d slipped into the closet and told himself, “I’m proud of you Max” once in each ear,  (using his own name instead of son).

He wrote in his journal, “It’s brought a big smile to my face. Good technique.”

I laughed with delight when my friend related this story to me. It’s so simple. It’s so easy. All we have to do is tell ourselves what we long to hear. Saying it out loud boosts the power (see my prior posting for the reason why).

Hiding in the closet, saying it in private, that’s what I find so intriguing and I’m no less shy than anyone else. There’s something we find embarrassing about saying kind things to and about ourselves, and we are dying to hear those words. To me, that’s like being thirsty and waiting for someone to offer us a drink rather than just pouring ourselves a glass of water.

Morro Bay (Kathy Loh)

Morro Bay (Kathy Loh)

This is a form of sound healing. You can do it once or you can make it a daily practice. Like meditation or playing an instrument, you will likely see more profound, surprising and sustainable results if you make it a consistent practice. If you miss here and there, don’t fret.  If doing it before you go to sleep doesn’t work, try it when you are taking your daily shower. You may find that there are a number of different things you want to say to yourself. There’s no rule, except to let it be loving. You’ve had plenty of practice with negative self- criticism and derision.

This is meant to be loving and easy.

What I am suggesting is we all come “out of the closet” and let ourselves openly love our selves. We are original beings born from Divine source. What’s not to love? What’s not to forgive? Maybe that’s your practice, “I forgive you [your name here].” I’ve done that one many times with wonderful results.

What do you want to hear? Tell it to yourself today and every day, using your own name, until you embody it. Your family and friends will thank you and the world will likely be a better place for it.

In an upcoming post, I’ll write about I Love You…from a relationship perspective.

Thanks Max and Stella (wink wink). I’m proud of both of you and I love you both like crazy!

PS – A couple of notes about comments:

I try to respond to your comments here on the blog. I love hearing from you, so keep it coming.

Also, some people are seeing garbled characters when they go to comments. I’m not sure why this is happening, but I’m working on it. Thanks for your patience.

all words and images copyright(c) Kathy Loh, April 2009, all rights reserved

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By now you have likely heard of Susan Boyle, the “frumpy,” innocent Scottish woman with the angelic voice who stunned and enraptured the British talent show audience and judges, including Simon Cowell, with her rendition of I Dreamed a Dream from Les Miserable. The YouTube video has been viewed over 19 million times as of this writing (3 million views occurred in the time it took me to write this blog entry).

Everyone’s talking and writing about it. Suzanne Falter-Barnes of Get Known Now writes of the lessons from a marketing platform perspective; how one can be found in this world when one has the courage to be visible and the talent to match.

The Herald printed an article by Collette Douglas Home, about Boyle from the perspective of what we value and what is truly recognition-worthy.

I have been exploring the enormity of the impact this video had on me personally. What am I feeling when I watch the video and cry? I’ve always cried when I’ve heard that song both in and out of context. Sitting next to my mother during a live performance, I cried for her lost dreams as well as my own, especially my fear of betraying my own dreams. Yet, I am familiar enough with my tears and my emotions to recognize this as something very deep and very cleansing.

A friend says she thinks it is Boyle’s triumph, the dream achieved, that brings on our tears. Yes and we have witnessed many people achieving their long sought-after dreams without this massive an impact. Is it because she is an underdog? Is it because we saw her as frumpy, odd, unsophisticated and made the assumption that talent can’t possibly live in someone like that and then got a huge awakening? Yes and…

As we continued our discussion, that same friend, who is a seasoned astrologer, proposed that it was the right time, right place, right person; a conjunction of events. This brought on an insight that resonated for me, one that explained what I was feeling in my body, mind, spirit and heart.

I’m suggesting that, through Boyle and by way of this video (edited exactly as it was), we are receiving a massive healing of our collective and individual shadow through direct transmission. What is direct transmission? Very simply, it is receiving learning, consciousness, and/or healing through vibration/energy rather than the usual channels. It is what people experience when they sit with a guru or other spiritual teacher.

Watching and listening to Susan Boyle sing so beautifully in the face of scorn and mockery, our unspoken shame for imperfection (of appearance, of success, etc) as mirrored in our material world, is healed. We are at one and the same time faced with being both the mocked and the mocker. We recognize ourselves as both the one who fears isolation and the one who isolates others.  Music, especially the human voice, is a perfect vehicle for healing. Boyle has the heart behind the voice to deliver.

After so many years of living with the tyranny of perfect looks and perfect talent perfectly packaged…

After so many years of looking at our faces and our bodies in the mirror and deriding ourselves for not being more beautiful and youthful, fighting our bodies at the gym and abusing them in the surgeon’s office…

After so many years of deifying youth and scorning age, assuming that, after a certain time in life, our dreams and thus, our usefulness, are no longer viable…

After so many years, by way of Susan Boyle and this video, we have received a healing message; a re-membering of our true soulful beauty through direct transmission. We are also forgiven for forgetting.

This healing is not about becoming famous. It is not about praising the spiritual and denying the material. It is about how we polarize the two and how out of balance humanity has become. We are spiritual and human, we live in a world that embraces both. This healing is as universal as it is individual. It is a transmission of forgiveness for all the ways we have judged ourselves and others. It is a healing of shame for our bodies, our lack of perfection, our lost years and all the times we lacked courage.  This healing is ours, if we are willing to receive it.

A transmission of healing is a gift and can only be received if we open to it. When our tears fall as we listen to Susan; when we smile and laugh for her victory, when our heart and chest swell with pride for her courage, we might ask ourselves: “What is the shadow within me that is being healed in this moment?” and receive that light and love. There is nothing more we need to do to avail ourselves of this amazing gift that has been given to all of us as it spreads around the globe at lightning speed.

Susan Boyle is both a channel of this transmission and a human being with a big voice and a big dream. It is a reminder that we are all channels of love, we are love. We all have a unique voice and a dream.  I don’t know about you, but when I go about my day today, I’m going to notice all the angel-humans around me. I’m going to remain curious and open to the question: What is the unique expression and gift offered by everyone who crosses my path today? What is their, and my, unique message to the world?  What will I open to receive and what will I have the courage to give?

Thank you, Susan Boyle!

all words and images copyright (C) April 2009, Kathy Loh, all rights reserved

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