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Something is up for me, something around form and here is where I get the inform-ation about that. (See earlier post on Information)

In January, I attended a Tarot Pilgrimage for 2009 with Pamela Eakins. We pulled cards for each month of the year. My card for May is One of Earth (Form).

I am currently doing a 10 Powers Tarot journey with Pamela and this week the card we are working with is One of Earth (Form).

Pamela did a reading for me regarding my heart’s desire (wouldn’t you like to know what that is – I’m not telling) and the middle card was One of Earth (Form).

One of the questions posed by that card is what wants to be manifest into form now? What I read said the card is telling me to stop thinking about things and do them NOW.

It was driving me a little nuts. I had this sense of urgency. I mean the same card in 3 different readings converging at the same point…surely I must do something now! I found myself pacing agitatedly and asking, “but what? ” And I’m not talking I-don’t-have-a-clue-what, but which what? If you’ve ever had that problem you are familiar with the train wreck that follows.

Then, this morning while meditating on the card, something shifted. I saw NOW from a different angle. I saw that everything before NOW was THEN. (I know, duh) Every good idea, theory or creative expression from before is no longer an inspiration for form in the now. Things have changed. I have changed. So I ask myself: What is it that wants to happen now, because this is no longer then?

You are probably wondering when the Cheshire cat and the Mad Hatter appear…

In that moment of insight, I was released from the past and able to breathe into freedom, to catch a glimpse of what true freedom is.

Oak Sunset (K Loh)

Oak Sunset (K Loh)

I look at the oaks outside my window. When they were acorns full of potential there were many possibilities for what they would look like 10 or 20 years later. As they grew, environmental factors determined which way the branches would grow, which branches would become strong and which would fall away. With each passing moment, the options for what was once possible become redirected by virtue of what has happened so far. The infinite possibilities inherent in the acorn, are fewer.  And at every moment there is a question of what now, or which way now?

This is a simple illustration of being aware that we will have to hold our plans lightly.

I have a garage full of what could be called branches; boxes of music from my piano teaching years, synthesizer setups and computers for a learning lab I used in my studio. I have two windsurfers, sails, skis, mountain bike and tons of miscellaneous stuff in boxes including books. They all represent something from my past, some way in which I identified myself, some role I played or world in which I belonged. Some hold a higher potential of being part of my NOW than others.

Those that are part of my now are the branches that are still connected to my trunk. The ones that have some potential, but are not really present for me are connected, but have lost leaves. Others are branches that have fallen away and need to be cleaned up, recycled back into the community where they will nourish others.

The breath of freedom I received was in knowing that all the things and ideas from the past were what wanted to happen then and I had a great track record of bringing them into form. If I spend all my time herding the past, I will miss what it is that wants to happen now.

Focusing upon what wants to happen now, I lean into faith and I listen to the whispers of my soul and the times in which I live. Becoming present, I participate in creating as much as preserving. I do not lose my past. I am my past. I am a composition of all I have ever seen, done, said, thought, felt. That’s what  makes each of us, in this big pool of one-ness, so unique.  And all that I am contributes in that unique way to what I am up to now. I am informed by all those old ideas, doings and ways of being, but I don’t have to be chained to them, drained by them or beholding to them.

So when I ask the question – “what will I manifest into form now?” I no longer feel an urgency to pick an answer. I find it strangely pleasant to live in the question and while I’m living there (or should I say here), I become very creative and forms begin to make themselves  tangible through me.

How about you?

What comes up for you around all the stuff (internal and external) you have hanging around from the past?

How does it potentially help you navigate uncertain times whether in your own life or in our economic climate in general?

What wants to happen, through you,  now?

copyright(c) Kathy Loh, April 2009, all rights reserved

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(W)in(D)formation

Today, I’m letting the wind inform me. It’s wildly gusty up here in the hills. Leaves are riding the wind waves to the shore of my driveway (though a few pirouette in skyward spirals on updrafts). Anything that’s not tied down, is going to blow away, blow down or mercilessly get tossed around. From this side of the double-paned windows, it sounds like a parade of jets departing SFO. Nothing knows stillness on a day like today.

I’ve known big winds in my own life, the kind that knock you sideways. A few years ago, one of those winds cut me loose. I can’t say whether it was losing or finding my center that set me adrift. Maybe it was switching my notion of center, from an external to an internal point, that had this boat I call “me” slip away from its dock.

The old anchors of home, marriage, and career had, all three, changed at the same time. I came to know many harbors as I let the winds of change blow me around. I began to know myself without the old anchors. I began to know myself as a center among many centers in the whole of life. I built a relationship with the Divine through meditation, ritual and nature. Now, the wind, the trees, the blowing leaves, all speak to me and they pose a lot of questions.

Windswept (Kathy Loh)

Windswept (Kathy Loh)

Today, I am asked and asking:

What needs to be released?

Am I meeting the winds of change with rigidity or giving them room to move through me?

Do I hunker down, ride it in exhilaration or let it snap me in two?

How sound are my roots?

Where have I chosen to plant myself and how secure and nurturing is the ground beneath me?

Am I clinging precipitously to a hillside or have I chosen more solid conditions?

Will I offer welcome sanctuary to other windswept creatures?

When the wind roars at me, will I roar back? Will I laugh as loudly?

Am I willing to dance, glide and dive in rapturous joy?

All these little leaf-boats setting sail upon this wind…do they know their center?

Do they know they are loved?

I have a Brian Andreas StoryPeople® print that says “I spent a long time trying to find my center until I looked closely one night and found it had wheels and moved easily in the slightest breeze, so now I spend less time sitting and more time sailing.”

When I bought that print, I could only dream of a center with wheels. Over these last few years, I developed a sturdy set of wheels and I am no longer adrift. I’m sailing. Sometimes skillfully and all too often flailing, but I’m sailing.

Today, I am grateful for in-formation from the wind.

all words and images copyright (c) April 2009, Kathy Loh, all rights reserved
header photo by Kathy Loh

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photo: Kathy Loh

photo: Kathy Loh

  • Magazines
  • Newspapers
  • TV News
  • Radio Broadcasts
  • Educational Shows
  • Documentaries
  • Books
  • Blogs
  • Facebook and Twitter
  • Billboards
  • Bumperstickers
  • Newsletters
  • Ezines
  • Classes
  • Email
  • Cubicle gossip

. . . . . . . . . . .Information

  • Hawk soaring
  • Lizard sunning
  • Hummingbird darting
  • Squirrels scampering
  • Coyote vanishing
  • Bobcat watching
  • Owl hooting
  • Butterfly flitting
  • Soft patter of rain
  • Whale cry
  • Children’s laughter
  • Whisperings of your heart

. . . . . . . . . . .Information

  • Oils and pastels
  • Ivory and ebony
  • Rhythm and melody
  • Movement and shape
  • word soup
  • Behind the lens
  • Wet clay
  • Hard marble
  • Hot glass
  • Soft fabric
  • Malleable wood
  • Costume and dialogue
  • Improvisation

. . . . . . . . . . . Information

What informs you?

What   in-forms    you?

I invite you to leave a comment with your answer….

(click on comments/no comments below)

 words and images copyright (c) April 2009 Kathy Loh all rights reserved

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