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Archive for the ‘Moving’ Category

“It’s not that we fear the unknown. You cannot fear something that you do not know. Nobody is afraid of the unknown. What you really fear is the loss of the known.” Anthony de Mello

Today marks one year since I moved into my place in the Sierra foothills. What a difference a year makes. I’ve traveled the four seasons here and landed back at Winter and snow again. For the most part, as long as my power stays on (I’m on a well, so it is a big deal), I am enchanted by the snow; its beauty and sublime quiet.

But, before I landed here, I had to make the decision to leave dear friends and a place I knew well that was fairly temperate, beautiful and convenient. Looking back, I find it amazing that I suffered with enough anxiety to upset my gallbladder and my sleep for two weeks before and after making the decision. What you will read below, in italics, is what I wrote a year ago November, but never published. On this first anniversary of living in my new home, it makes sense to take a look back and check in on how it feels to have made the leap. I’ll comment more on this at the end.

copyright(c)dec2013 Kathy J Loh

November 2012

I’m facing a challenge and I don’t need to give you the details, because you will likely recognize the dynamics no matter the particles. The questions are similar when we face decisions about career change, whether or not to have a child, moving, buying, selling, marriage, divorce.

When there is a challenge, I know I am at my edge, my personal frontier of movement. I enjoy traveling the frontiers of my thinking, but in physical reality, where everything is a commitment of form and solidity, I am slow to move.

Indecision is a pathway to decision and it is a detour. It depends on how you work with it.

In our multi-dimensional personality, many voices participate. Some truth is spoken by each as well as lies. I am bedeviled by the Trickster. I want to know before knowing is possible. I want “beyond the edge” to be fairly predictable and it is not.

While the heart loves and works its magic, the mind begins to question in response to the threatened body. I would be at the mercy of my mind’s paralyzing spin if I was unable to discern the energies behind the words I think. What is their source? To what are they responding?

When my heart feels sadness for leaving something, someone, or some way of being, behind, my mind wants to solve the emotional dilemma by telling me I didn’t like that thing, that person, that behavior anyway. It uses its “make wrong” technology to lighten a heavy heart. But, all it does is darken my spirit and fog my vision.

Let me simply grieve. Let me feel deeply the impact of my attachments.

Most of us really don’t change or make changes in our lives until it becomes too painful not to. I certainly hold a lot of compassion around that. We put our dreams on hold indefinitely, thinking there is always tomorrow. I hold a lot of compassion around that too.

The frontier, out beyond our edges, is vast and full of infinite possibility. It is where our dreams await us. We have, in our imaginations and desires, seeded that frontier with all we need to call us forward. What is left is for us to have the courage to leave our outgrown self-images, our old identities and old beliefs behind. We need the courage to face and be with the emotional impact of the chaos that is created by stepping over the edge; that line in the sand drawn by fear. The consciousness of the You that lives in that future already has different beliefs and identities. It has already discovered new ways. You know that, because you’ve seen it in your visions and felt it in your bones even if your personality/ego of today is blind and resistant.

First we dream and dreaming is not enough. It’s time to have the courage and take some form of action.

And so, using my free will, I enter what my current ego self perceives as “the chaos,” wave at the gatekeepers as I step beyond my edge of comfort and current knowledge.

And that is where I left off when I filed the notes away on my computer saving them for a possible blog post that, until now, never again saw the light of the computer screen.

The dilemma was, of course, whether or not to move. More than that, it was whether or not to give myself that long-cherished dream of being what one acquaintance called, a “mountain angel,” living among tall trees on a good chunk of property.

So, how did I fare after I waved to the gatekeepers and made the leap? I was blissfully happy my first several months here. I remember telling everyone that I have never been happier in my life. I don’t know what it was, but I was lifted beyond my expectations. Maybe it was the snow, the elevation, the newness, the proximity of Tahoe and the Sierra Buttes. Maybe it was my local friends and one in particular who keeps me active with snow shoeing and hiking.

Mostly, I suspect that exhilaration is what we feel when we step out into the unknown, because that frontier is the territory of heart and soul and it has been calling for a long time. When we respond to that call, we are received with “welcome home.”

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What calls to you? If you have a tough decision to make, if you have been putting off your cherished dream(s), you will benefit from coaching with me and certainly a one-year walkabout would get you over that edge and well on your way. Everyone needs support. Let’s talk about how I can be that for you. Email me at kathyloh@coachkathy.com and we can set up a time for that conversation.  Don’t wait another moment. Moments add up to years.

Copyright © December 2013, Kathy J Loh, all rights reserved, including images

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Another #reverb10 post – today’s prompt is: What (or whom) did you let go of in 2010? Why?

I’ll answer the last question first: because it’s time.

As for the what (or whom) ….

Take a look at the tag cloud over to the right there. See the words Letting Go? The larger the word, the more times I’ve used the tag. If you click on it, you’ll get plenty of past posts about letting go. Four of them were written in 2010:

Movin’ On (Take 3) – Un-boxed and Settling In

How the Universe Conspires with us to Awaken

From Performance Anxiety to Co-Creative Bliss

Open Hands, Open Heart

What I noticed while reviewing these posts is that letting go can be a cyclical process.

  • Realize something wants or needs to be let go
  • Decide to let it go
  • (possible detour of waffling about letting it go)
  • Let go
  • Notice the energy of it remains or has returned
  • Let go at an even deeper level

Sometimes it feels like what I release has a bungee cord attached to it. I let go, it bounces back. I let go, it bounces back. Eventually the cord wears out and snaps. No more letting go, simply gone.

I suspect that the bungee cord is made up of spirit (energy), heart, mind, body or some combination of these aspects.

Something is lodged in my energy field and needs purifying.

Some emotion is churning in my heart and needs to be fully felt.

Something is spinning in my mind and needs fierce truth and stillness.

Something is lodged in my body and asks me to pay attention to what has yet to be digested by spirit, heart or mind.

Then, I wonder …….

Every time we exhale, we let go

Nothing stays the same

Change is inevitable

There is no holding on

So, if there is no holding on, why are we so preoccupied with letting go?

 

[ pause]

 

I could get all Rumi-like on you here, but I’m going to shift gears. Can’t help myself, being a Gemini and all. So take a breath and relax (oh, that’s about letting go too) and when you are ready, read on…

Sometimes you just have to get irreverent and drop the spiritual correctness and the sentimentality.

This one, by Jo Dee Messina, says it all. Get your moxie and your dancin’ shoes on. “Buh-bye now!”

 copyright (c) December 2010, Kathy J Loh, All Rights Reserved

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