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Posts Tagged ‘body-mind-spirit-heart’

This is a post specifically written for  Karen Caterson’s blog (which is always a great read BTW) round robin: Support Stories – Strength from Within. Thanks for inviting me to participate Karen! (Click on the link to see more stories, poems and posts on the topic by other bloggers)


When a tree is a sapling, it may be given some additional and external support. It may need stakes, ties and even deer guard to give it a chance to become the giant it was born to be. Over time, if all goes well, the tree outgrows the stakes. The branches reach high enough to evade foraging deer. Its root system grows deep and wide, bringing it nourishment from the ground. A strong trunk supports the wide canopy that drinks in sunlight. A tree wants to live. That’s an assumption I make. It will do all it can to survive in the densest of shade and the driest of soil. It wants to live.

There was a point in my life, not long ago, (ok, about 6 years ago) when I came to a cross-roads. I wasn’t sure I could go on much longer feeling so much emotional pain. I entertained the notion of suicide without really contemplating it. I was aware that I could let the big wind that entered my life completely uproot me or I could let a branch or two snap off, bend with the winds that blew, send a taproot deeper into a still place and make my stand.   In one inspired moment, I chose the latter.  Despite the pain, the complete uncertainty about my future (especially financially), I wanted to live. I wanted to create something new, find out what I was made of, maybe, eventually, find new love. I had a faint glimmer of hope that I’d make it to a better day.

That’s the thing about hope. It’s like a homeopathic remedy. It only takes the essence of hope, the faintest hint of hope to keep us going.

As I applied the essence of hope daily, I began to develop a relationship with myself, with nature and the Divine. I came to appreciate the gift of Mystery and the way in which we can navigate the unknown with Love. I filled the empty hole of feeling unappreciated and broken with a deep regard for the sacredness of all of life, mine included.

It meant giving up any notion of being rescued. It meant giving up suffering like a martyr.

Victims wait to be rescued.

Martyrs go through all kinds of tap dancing to suffer in silence (with a few deep sighs) and then get angry when no one notices all they have sacrificed for others.

Victims and martyrs are waiting for something outside themselves to support them. They’ve let the stakes, ties and deer fencing become their (illusory) prisons.  I know. I’m an “ex-con.”

Here’s the thing; once we commit to something, all of reality (and that which is unseen) conspires to support us.

If we are playing footsies with victim and martyr, we will be supported there too. We will create relationships with unwritten co-dependent contracts acting out roles of heroes and villains.

We make choices and those choices create our reality. What reality have you created?

What reality will you create now?

Some trees in The Forest of Nisene Marks State Parkgrow at right angles. They were tossed sideways in the Loma Prieta earthquake of 1989 and then continued their upward growth toward the sun.

I don’t know anyone who hasn’t been tossed sideways by some kind of earthquake in their lives. We can live sideways and consider it over or reach for the warmth and light. It’s a choice.

I’m not saying it’s easy.  I’m not saying it’s hard.

I am saying, stop waiting for someone to come to the rescue. Chances are if you are not loving and nurturing  yourself, you won’t have an open enough heart to receive the help when it’s offered anyway.

You are your own hero (and your own villain). It’s an inside job.

Squirrel resting in tree Copyright (C) November 2010, Kathy J Loh

A sturdy tree makes a nice resting place (c) K J Loh

When it feels like all the world’s  got you in a spin and circumstances are chaotic, when you feel lonely and like you don’t belong, what to do? Be still. Breathe. Find your center. Send that taproot even deeper, let your canopy dance in the passing breeze. There’s a lot of space between you and all that is happening. Observe. Rest. Be with your genuine emotions raw and real as they are and pan the story. At least tell a new one.

I’ve created a strong sense of inner support by way of connecting with nature, the Divine, my own heart. Here are some of my practices with some selected resources. They are practices because there is no arrival, simply the daily devotion.

Wow, that’s a lot of external resources for developing inner strength. Like I said before, it’s an inside job and it is the commitment to the inner work that brings the support of a friendly world to your doorstep.

Enjoy dear ones!

If you have something you’d like to add to the list, feel free to leave a comment with your practices for creating strength from within.

Ready to receive some help with that inside job? Email me at kathyloh@coachkathy.com and we can set up a conversation about how I might be able to be of service to you.

If you are ready for radical transformation of your inner world (which will have a delightful impact on your external world) then you are ready for a Sacred Life Walkabout with me. Let’s talk!

Copyright © November 2010, Kathy J Loh, All Rights Reserved

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Today, the day after the Winter Solstice, the sun will be around a tiny bit longer than yesterday.

Today, my seeds of intention are one day new.

Am I any different today than I was yesterday?

Are you?

Yesterday the skies were thickly overcast all day long. This did not bode well for my sunset Solstice ritual at the beach. Still, I was determined to go and I did.

It was blustery at La Jolla Shores in San Diego. The first thing I noticed was how I’d miscalculated. In my town, Santa Cruz, the beaches face south, so we get to see the sun set in the water there. Here, in San Diego, the beaches face west. The sun looked like it might peek out from under the clouds before it hit the water, but it was going to be on the other side of the point.

I reminded myself, play with what is and be willing to be surprised. So I began my walk northward. I called in the elements.  I called in four Arcangels and I asked them to co-create with me. As I invited the angels, I came upon a white feather. This has always been a sign to me that I am not alone.

I picked up four rocks and infused each one, in turn, with what my body, mind, spirit and heart wanted to release. Then, I tossed the rocks, one by one, toward the sea to be reclaimed by the elements. With each toss, I declared my new intentions. I planted the seeds of new energy, new emotion, new thought, new form. Well, maybe they are not so new, but now they will have room to grow. Let’s say, I did some weeding.

All along I was humming whatever came to me; improvising something without words, something new yet deeply familiar, something from my soul. After I tossed the final rock, I turned and headed south. The humming grew more courageous.

There was a tug at my heart as I recalled my youthful summers at this same beach. I chose to remain present and brought myself back by taking in the richness of the cool salt air.

Breathe, simply breathe.

thin layer of sunlight

Feeling disappointed (c) K J Loh

The sky grew grayer and there was a slim line of golden sky at the southern horizon. I tried not to be disappointed. I considered driving to the point in hopes of seeing the sun, but decided I wanted to remain connected to the ritual rather than attached to my original vision of watching the sun set in the water.

I was sitting in my car writing in my journal when I glanced up and saw the most amazing red sky. I gasped. Then I grabbed my camera and walked back down to the water’s edge. People dotted the sand and stood spell bound. Some, like me, took photos. The sky was afire. It was one of the most spectacular sunsets I’ve ever witnessed.

blazing sunset La Jolla Shores

Surprise Surprise (c) K J Loh

Had I been attached to my original vision, I could have been sitting at a traffic signal, fighting commuter traffic to get to the point and missed it all.

(I just noticed what I wrote – “fighting…get to the point…miss it all.” A lovely double-entendre reminder to take the scenic route, to dawdle and enjoy the journey)

Hey beautiful mischievous angels, thanks for the surprise!

Fire, you really strutted your stuff!

In the night, a gentle rain fell washing away the dust in this dry town.

Today a huge wind is up; for many, just an observation of the weather and a potential inconvenience.

For me, it’s an affirmation from the elements I invited to play with me.

If it’s all made up anyway, why not have fun?

So again, am I different today? Has anything changed?

I planted the seed.

I weeded the weeds.

Already today, I’ve had the opportunity to choose not to hold the old way and to invite and embrace the new.

Sometimes form (earth) takes awhile to catch up with energy, thought and emotion.

What appears to be a so-so ho-hum shift just might turn into something really amazing.

We’ll see what unfolds in the months to come.

Meanwhile, I trust.

And I remain willing (and not so secretly eager) to be surprised.

Copyright (c) December 2009, Kathy J Loh, All Rights Reserved

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Winter Solstice is Monday, December 21st. It is the shortest day of the year in the northern hemisphere. Energetically, it is an excellent opportunity to mindfully and powerfully release old baggage that no longer serves us; habits, ways of thinking, dark and stuck energies. From the 21st December until the Summer Solstice in June, the length of the days, the number of minutes/hours of sunshine increases and we can play with that as expansive energy. That expansiveness can feed the seeds of intention that we plant now.

sun

Solstice (c) Kathy J Loh

There are three parts: preparation, ritual, follow-through. I am sharing my process with you in this post in hopes that it will give you inspiration, ideas and a gentle nudge.

Preparation

This morning, I did a meditation, specifically requesting assistance with my own Winter Solstice ritual, which I will hold on Monday. While the whole of Autumn has been a good time to prepare (as in gathering acorns) for this ritual, now is the time to determine what ritual will work for you and what you will want to do to be ready for it.

In my meditation, after calling in my unseen support team, I created a meeting of Body, Mind, Spirit and Heart. I let the format come to me intuitively. I’ve been working with the imagery of leaving bags on the platform and getting on the train to a chosen new destination with clients. So, it’s no surprise that this is what I worked with today.

Body was the first to speak, followed by Heart, Mind and finally Spirit. While I won’t reveal to you the specifics, I am happy to share the structure.

Create your metaphor or story-scape – set the stage

My stage was a train boarding platform, bags that were to be left behind, trains with destination signs to be filled in as part of the meditation.

Release –  What are you no longer willing to carry? What no longer serves you? What will you leave behind?

I asked:  What bags will you leave behind on the platform?

Intention – With what do I want to fill the energetic space I’m creating for myself? Where do I want to powerfully point myself?

I asked: Where is the train, you are boarding, headed?

Follow-through – What is one action I will take to give energetic support to my intention?

I asked: What is the first powerful action I will take on board that train?

Body, Heart, Mind and Spirit were interviewed one at a time and their responses were both expected and surprising. I love the imagery I got from Mind. Rather than the usual flood of words, I got the intended shift in the form of a symbol that unfolded into a new symbol.

I then asked them the same group of questions as an aligned whole. Again I got an image that showed how unaligned they’ve been and a symbol of what their new alignment would look like.  As they say, a picture is worth a thousand words.

Ritual

Before closing this meeting of Body, Mind, Spirit and Heart, I asked for guidance in creating my ritual. Knowing I will be away and unable to enjoy the complete privacy of my own woods, I wanted it to be “portable.”

Again, I am sharing this with you to prompt your own creativity. You know best what will work for you.

Create the space

  • Make the space on your calendar
  • Give yourself the amount of privacy or community you want
  • Ground yourself and become present, align Body, Mind, Spirit, Heart
  • Call in whatever unseen help you like through invocation and invitation
  • Perhaps honor the Four Directions or Elements of Air, Water, Earth, Fire

Carry out the ritual

Release:

  • Do something that symbolically transmutes that which you are releasing (I am collecting rocks to represent the bags to be left behind and placing in them those things that BMSH told me they are releasing)
  • Let your body feel the heaviness or stuck-ness you are about to let go
  • Let your mind feel the constriction of holding on to the old thoughts associated with what you are now releasing.
  • Let your heart feel the gratitude for what this meant to you in the past and the sadness or joy of goodbye
  • Let your spirit feel the how trapped it has felt and the new expansiveness about to become available to it
  • Align into the whole of you and offer up these things you are letting go for transmutation. (I am going to listen to the rocks and let them tell me what to do. I’m not sure yet if I will be in the canyon or at the beach. If I’m at the beach, I will probably place them where the water can tug at the energies I left in the rocks and dissolve them into the great ocean.)
  • Know that you are not releasing negativity into the world if you ask the Divine and Nature to transmute them

Intention:

  • Take a moment to breathe and reground
  • In some way, demonstrate your commitment to your intentions: declare them out loud to your surroundings or to your circle, create a line you will step over, write them and put them in a jar on your altar, whatever comes to you. Perhaps you will get a melody to hum or your body will want to dance, walk, jump, skip.  (I plan to watch the sun set in the water)
  • Save room for being surprised by what shows up in the moment, a bit of improvisation and play

Closing:

  • Take a breath and reground
  • Let yourself be infused with the energy of the planting of this new seed of your powerful intention and know, have full faith that it will be.
  • Suggestion: say “This or something better, with harm to none. Let it be and so it is.”
  • Connect with your circle if you have friends with you
  • Thank the unseen friends/Divine/guides you called in at the beginning of your ritual

Follow-through

  • Remember to take the simple action steps that you set for yourself in your meditation/preparation
  • It might be helpful for you to create reminder notes and to ask friends for support
  • Don’t be surprised if some things in your physical reality, emotional, mental or spiritual health shift as a result of this
  • Keep a journal to track your follow-through and what shows up along the way

I made this up. It’s a synthesis of other rituals of which I’ve been a part. You can make up whatever you want. You might enjoy creating a collage, using a fire to burn the old, writing a letter about your intentions and putting it where you’ll find it in June or next December.

The point is the power of consciously and intentionally letting things go and making new choices, taking new actions that serve the life you want to be living. Doing so at any time is empowering. Doing so on Winter Solstice aligns you with the cycles of nature which brings a powerful boost to the process.

Co-Creating with the Universe

Pay attention and watch for signs. I have had repeatedly seen, read about, and come across red and white roses. I will make sure to have at least one of each with me on Dec 21st.

Resource

A great resource for solstice rituals and working with nature is Nature-Speak by Ted Andrews. It contains a wonderful visualization as well. I highly recommend it. (While searching for the link, I discovered that Ted passed away October 24th of this year. What a bounty of gifts he left in his wake!)

Many blessings to you, dear readers.  May you walk in Beauty.

There are so many things to celebrate in a year and one of the main ones is YOU. When you hire me as your personal coach, you can design the goal of the coaching to uniquely suit you. I have a number of clients who use our coaching to help them develop their spiritual practices, awaken in a way that transforms their lives and harness the wisdom of their own hearts. We invite soul and earth to assist us. Are you ready? Email me at kathyloh@coachkathy.com and we can have a conversation about how I might serve you and your beautiful life.

 Copyright (c) December 2009, Kathy J Loh, All Rights Reserved

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A wonderful comment from Shulamit on yesterday’s post, Vision Quest: Vision Story, took me on a little brainstorming venture.  The conundrum she presented is what to do when you are talking with clients or students about their visions, asking them what they want and getting the response, “I don’t know.”

There are a number of ways (and please feel free to post your own in comments) to respond to “I don’t know” such as:

  • If you did know, what would you know?
  • What don’t you know?
  • What do you know?
  • Is it that you don’t know or something more like you are afraid to know, what’s the point because you believe you can’t have it anyway, etc.
  • What is it to know?
  • How would you know that you know (or what has you sure you don’t know?)

That would be a conversation around knowing and not-knowing that might be fruitful if this person consistently responds with “I don’t know” regardless of the question and you know it’s not about stalemating you.

Where are you going? (Kathy Loh)

Where are you going? (Kathy Loh)

What draws my creative attention is the ways we might assist those who really want to know what they want and are just beginning to allow themselves to explore it.

Here are some ideas (again, please feel free to add yours to comments):

  • Make a list of all the things you know you don’t want and then restate them as what you do want.
  • Gather images from magazines, papers, websites that evoke a feeling of “I’d like to have that” or “I’d like to be that”  in you.
  • Gather quotes and lines from poems and songs that make you feel wonderful.
  • Remember one or more peak experiences vividly and savor it/them. What was it about that time?
  • Set the stage for full possibility by creating a scenario in which all material needs are met and then ask what you want.
  • Clear out what you think you should want: what is it politically, spiritually, socially correct for you to want? And now, what do you want?
  • Clear out what you think you have to do to make others happy: What do your parents, spouse, teachers, children want you to want? And now, what do you want?
  • Create a scenario of your perfect day and if it seems too limited, then create the perfect week. These will show you a lot about what you want.
  • Have an internal tea party with your inner cast of thousands. There are two gatherings I enjoy having: (1)child, adolescent, young adult, adult, higher self and gremlin (2) body, mind, spirit, heart. It’s fascinating to see what each has to say and to find the alchemy of their alignment.
  • Take time in nature to just be and to hear your own voice rather than the buzz of the world.
  • Create and do visualizations that help you step into what you want and unfold your vision.
  • Get out post-it notes, post-it flip charts and lots of colored pens. Write down, draw, make mind-maps and clouds of all that you love and put them on the wall. Let yourself steep in them for awhile and see what comes up as a picture for how they all come together. (see my earlier post:  Dawdling un-rule #4 from June 29, 2009)
  • Imagine you are lying on your death-bed and you are looking back over your life. What do you want to see as the life you lived and the person you were while living it?
  • What is the legacy you want to leave, whether as an individual or as a business – how will the world or a demographic be better because you followed your bliss?
  • Step outside yourself by asking a tree, God/Goddess/Angels, your pet, a flower, etc. to speak for you and see what it/they say.
  • Play with perspectives: choose 6 to 8 different objects in your space, randomly, and let each one somehow be a symbol of what you want. Play with the metaphors that come to mind.
  • Do some deep breathing and drop into your heart. What does your heart know that you want?
  • Ask some body part – I’ve often gotten great results asking, “What does your left big toe know about that?”
  • Get into the body, become a firmly rooted tree…feel the roots going into the ground and the branches stretching and reaching for the sky. What do you know now?
  • Play with the elements: If you were the wind (water, earth, fire) what would you want?
  • If all you get is images that don’t seem to make sense (elephant, sunflower, raft on the ocean) play with it as a message from your intuition. Be patient. It may take time to unfold the message.

This is just the beginning. From here, I would coach a client around why they want it and why they don’t want it. I’d also work with them regarding values and passions to see where they are honored and not. When we work with visions and the question “What do you want?”, we inevitably bump up against a big tangled mass of limiting beliefs, fundamental choices and unmet needs that begs for  unraveling.

Visioning is an iterative process.  Our visions are meant to evolve with us. So whether you write a vision story, vision statement or create a vision board, you will likely want to revisit it on a regular basis (suggesting here an annual vision retreat) so that it keeps pace with who you are becoming.

More on visioning is coming in future posts, including creating a vision story, group visioning and a bit on the ever-popular vision board.

For today, I  leave you with this inquiry:

Imagine you are taking your final breath and you are conscious enough to be able to see your entire life behind you.

What do you want to see (and know) you did; who do you want to see (and know) you were as a person?

What will have you say “I’ve lived a good life and I’m complete?”

Then look at your life today as feedback (without judgment, simply with curiosity) and ask:

How is my life in alignment with my answer to those questions above (and how not?)

Congratulate yourself for your success, for certainly you will find you are in some ways, or many, in alignment.

Then give yourself the gift of taking one small step toward creating, enhancing or rewriting that vision and one small step toward making it happen.

Happy Visioning!

PS If you want help creating, re-tooling or coaxing your vision, hop on over to my website (see sidebar) for contact info.  I’d be happy to talk with you about a short-term vision coaching arrangement.

Copyright(c) October 2009, Kathy J Loh, All Rights Reserved

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In “Romancing Destiny,”  (my prior post),  I promised to explore freedom and commitment in this entry.  Well, that would take an entire book, wouldn’t it?  I don’t have time this afternoon to write that book (and plenty of philosophers have done a much better job of it than I could). Besides, you probably don’t have the time or desire to read a tome do you?

So, let’s just dip our toes in the waters of freedom, splish-splash a bit and I invite you to participate by splashing some of your thoughts across the comments section.

I don’t know about you, but I have this thing with freedom. It is my highest value. I want to be and feel free. Sometimes I know I am free, but I don’t feel like I am. Sometimes, I know I am at choice, but I don’t feel like I am.

Sometimes freedom chases me down an alley named Free From. I want to be free from debt, free from some nagging obligation or responsibility, free from worry, free from fear.

Sometimes I chase freedom down a pathway named Free To. I want to be free to explore, free to go to the beach, free to choose, free to spend the afternoon playing music, free to live my life the way I want to live it.

Mostly, I just want to experience freedom. I want know, really know, that I am at choice.

Sometimes, I mistakenly think that if I make a decision or a commitment, I am no longer at choice. I am giving up my freedom. Then it starts to chase me again. I am running from commitment, ruing a decision.

When I have participated in that cycle often enough, I gather evidence that making a decision is a huge deal. Faced with any decision to be made, I blow it up all out of proportion and then I go into endless gear-spinning indecision; permanent procrastination.  I am pretty talented at making myself miserable this way. Ironically, in my attempt to preserve freedom, I slap myself into a self-made straight-jacket; constricted and immobile. Where is freedom now?

Finally, I am in so much pain that I find relief by telling myself that it’s just a decision and I can make a new decision later if it doesn’t work out. At the very least, I can learn from the decision. So I close my eyes and point. I might as well be using a dartboard. I hope for the best, and revel in the immediate sensation of post-internal-war peace.

Reflections (c)Kathy J Loh

Reflections (c)Kathy J Loh

Commitment is another story.  Commitment means I stand by my decision. I will not change my mind. I am making a promise and I will not break it. So, if I think that once I have made a commitment, I am no longer at choice, as a freedom lover, I’m going to really drag my feet.  I’m going to want volumes of information, warranties and a money-back guarantee.

But to whom or what am I really making a commitment? And when I make that commitment, am I handing over my free will and choice as some sort of dowry?

Cheryl Richardson shared a process she uses, which I love. To paraphrase, she said she makes a list of absolute yeses based upon her values, mission and purpose. When she has to make a decision or commitment, she asks herself if the opportunity resonates with her absolute yes list. If not, she passes.

What I take from this is that I can gather my information from sources other than the internet and friend’s opinions. I am informed by my values, the alignment and integrity of my Body, Mind, Spirit, Heart and my vision or understanding of my soul’s purpose. My warranty is my trust in myself and my faith in the process, God/Goddess and all that is. My guarantee is remembering that I am the creator of how and who I am being with whatever circumstances arise.

The more I walk in that integrity, being informed in that way, the more I act from deep intuition and true knowing.

Therein, perhaps, is the path of freedom. When I stop asking and start knowing.

I notice I wrote “ the path of freedom.”  It is not the path to freedom or the path of being free from.

There are few sign posts on this path and everything is feedback which informs me of the ways in which I still hold myself prisoner in the shadows of my being. It takes courage (Coeur-age) to walk in the shadows.

Somehow or other I suspect that on this path, commitment is joyfully offered and decision is swift heart-informed action.

More and more I am dreaming myself on this path, though I wander off into the thickets time and time again.  Along the way there will be celebrations and there will be disappointments, for others as well as for me.

I want to remember to receive them all with grace and humility.

Who will walk this path with me?

 Copyright(c) September 2009, Kathy J Loh, All Rights Reserved

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“I want to figure out what I’m supposed to do in life!”

A number of my clients come to coaching with this quest. It never fails to arouse my curiosity.

What do you mean by supposed to do?

What would you love (to do)?

That last question gets all kinds of responses from some variant of “I don’t know” to an answer that is quickly discounted with a whole world of blurts that come on the other side of a bridge named “but.”

When we investigate further, we begin to loosen the web of collapses and assumptions which suspends them in a perpetual state of  indecision. In this web are assumptions like: commitment means loss of freedom, work is struggle, play is not work, surrender is giving in, following our bliss is selfish/hedonistic, happiness comes from external circumstances, on and on…(pick your poison).

These clients, like me and maybe like you, long to find their “calling.” They want to feel fulfilled and to find meaning in their lives and they want to be well-used, needed, to be of service in some way. They are intrigued by the notion of following their bliss. At the same time, they want to be certain of their calling before pursuing it. This is usually the giveaway that they have a requirement for controlling the outcome, which is actually expressing some deeper human need for safety, security, belonging, etc.

(c) Kathy J Loh

(c) Kathy J Loh

They are looking for a guarantee that their investment is going to pay off, that magic crystal ball affirmation. This requirement for guarantee can cause no end of procrastination, false starts, disappointment and a great opportunity for the inner critic to belittle and berate.  Any wrinkle in the fabric is gathered for evidence that it’s not a good fit and they were not “meant to do this.”

And what has us imagine we can completely control the outcome anyway?

What kind of dead-end pursuit is that?

How does that assumption constrict possibility and potential?

I understand these things from the inside out, because I’ve experienced (and still do to some extent) the same dilemma. Creative artists can be especially plagued by this, as can healers, adventurers and free spirits.

Do you recognize this in yourself?  If so, consider these questions:

What do you want?

Why do you want that?

What has you believe you need to figure out what it is you are supposed to do?

What if you don’t need to figure it out?

What if there is nothing you are supposed to do and you are actually fully at choice?

What scares you about being fully at choice?

Figuring things out generally happens in the head. Bliss and passion are usually generated from the heart and spirit.

What if you just listened to your heart and spirit and then let your head be the genius planner it is, in service of the heart and spirit?

We are talking trust here. That takes us back to needs. Our needs for safety, security, belonging, etc., are very real. What’s unreal is expecting them to be taken care of by other people or external circumstances. It is this demand we place on others and on things (cars, houses, circumstances) that ensnares us in the trap of needing guarantees to proceed. It leads to procrastination, avoidance and fear of commitment.

We are the only ones who can take care of our own needs.  Only I can create safety, security and belonging for myself. When I do, through loving and nurturing myself, I am much safer (not to mention more fun) to be around. I am not placing that demand on others. I am not trying desperately to control circumstances. I let go of attachment. I also develop a high level of trust in myself.

When I trust myself, I am willing to lean into the Mystery. I can ask God/Goddess for help and know I am met co-creatively. I can follow my bliss without a guarantee, because a guarantee is no longer essential, nor is it even desired anymore. Guarantees leave no room for surprise, imagination, or magic.

When I trust myself, I am willing to be vulnerable and visible in the world. I allow myself to be seen. This is the dance of intimacy. When I am dancing this dance, when I am fully participating in and with life rather than waiting for some magic road to open up and show me the sure highway to happiness, my bliss has an opportunity to find me.

When I follow the call of Spirit and the whispers of Heart, my ever-evolving destiny can see and find me. I am romancing it by believing in it enough to take risks. I am showing I have the courage and the willingness to commit to it, to become a disciple to my soul’s calling.

And yes, the ego experiences a loss of freedom, in a way, when I commit; more on that in my next blog entry.

Until then, give your mind a rest. I’m sure it will thank you. Stop trying to figure out what you are supposed to do. Let your Spirit and Heart speak to you. Suspend judgment for now (which is not to say suspend discernment).

Look within for the needs you are trying to have satisfied for you out there. What are those needs?

And then look deeper. Is there a bottom-line need here that is merely represented by such responses as “I need a job” “I need to know I won’t lose my house” “I need to know he loves me”?

Entertain the possibility that you can meet all of your needs and find a new way of being in the world; one you can hardly even imagine right now; one in which you have come to know that you have value, you are enough, you are loved; one in which you enchant and are enchanted by your destiny, your soul’s calling.

Don’t just flirt with it, romance your destiny, let it fall in love with you, and when it approaches and says “shall we dance?” find the courage and willingness to say, “Yes!”

Copyright (c) August 2009, Kathy J Loh, All Rights Reserved

Inspiration and Resources:

For personal coaching: www.coachkathy.com

For a great personal growth workshop series: www.lucidliving.net

For a good read: The Three Marriages: Reimagining Work, Self and Relationship, David Whyte

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There’s a technique I like to use whenever I feel stuck or stalled. I interview myself and get the energy moving again by creating an internal board of directors meeting.

Who sits on the board?

Well, it depends on who I wish to assemble at the time.

I draw from my internal “cast of thousands.”

Sometimes, it is a gathering of various iterations of child, adolescent, parent voices along with the inner critic.

One of my favorite, though, is a four way conversation between Body, Mind, Spirit and Heart. Generally, these conversations show me where these aspects are out of alignment and how to bring their energies back into balance.

The other day, I was feeling out of sorts, antsy and I caught myself in a procrastination loop. I knew I had the entire day free to go at those boxes of files again.  I sat with this board in contemplation of the issue, attempting to get some clarity as to which aspect(s) was in resistance and why.  It was quite informative. I’ll share it with you:

The first thing I noticed is that mind was at the “head” of the table. (no pun intended)

After checking in on the energies, I felt into Heart first. Heart appeared with some sort of metal ties wrapped around it. It seemed kind of mopey and said it was tired of Mind running the show.

Mind said something about Heart needing to heal and Heart said it is healed enough and it is Mind that needs to “heal” by dropping all those old patterns of thinking.

Body appeared as a giant banana slug…tired…too tired…Mind tires it out. It wants to follow Heart. Body asks when we are going swimming again.

Spirit came from some distant place to which it had retreated, zipped into the room as dragonfly (a totem for me these days) and landed on the table as Shrek and said “It’s all about fun and adventure.”

Then, I got this image of the three of them (Heart, Body and Spirit) sitting around playing cards all day waiting for Mind to get over itself and get on board with them.

It never fails. When I interview Mind, Mind says it is tired of running the show and would like a little support from the other three. Actually, it likes to show its prowess, but then it gets too high on itself and takes over. So I tried something. I let Mind be held by the other three, as if in a hammock.

I asked: What is it to release to the wisdom of heart, body and spirit?

(c) Kathy J Loh

(c) Kathy J Loh

This question landed on the backdrop of attempting to seriously downsize my possessions and files. When this internal board discusses letting go of all my stuff, Mind goes right back to all the sorting, organizing, what to sell, donate, etc. Why wouldn’t it do that? Mind is a brilliant strategist and calculator.
The other three just sigh and say, “Stop bogging us down!” They tell Mind that it doesn’t have to be done that way. Just get rid of it. It’s stale. C’est passé!

This is where my heart quickened – that familiar cocktail of excitement and fear.

I know I’m at an edge here.

I put heart at the head of the table, not as the boss, but as a way of realigning the weight of the voices. My energetic motor was restarted and I accomplished a good deal of work that day which I’d previously been avoiding.

Here’s what I know. There is a new way for me to be in the world that I am evolving toward. Since it is new, I don’t know what it is. I call it moving into the Great Mystery. I say I am looking to follow The Beauty Way (as the Navajo call it).

I know that it requires a strong internal alliance and alignment of Body, Mind, Spirit and Heart. Each aspect is called forth to its highest strength and my highest purpose is best served by the strength of the team not one or two individual aspects. Each holds a powerful truth. Together, in their alignment, they provide the point of contact between the human me and my soul.

Together, in alignment, Body, Mind, Spirit and Heart resonate with the one-ness from which I feel so separate and help me re-member that unity.

(Tomorrow, a note on what happened the day after I was whirlwind productive at downsizing boxes and files, because this moving into the Great Mystery thing is way bigger than just clearing clutter. I’m only setting the stage with that stuff.)

Meanwhile, try this stuff at home, kids! Many of my clients get great results with this. I’d love to hear what happens for you.

copyright(c) August 2009, Kathy J Loh, All Rights Reserved

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