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Posts Tagged ‘Rainy Day’

“And look! See my tears. They fill the whole night sky. The whole night sky.” – Bruce Cockburn

Saturday:

Chased my desires downhill

Swallowed them in big gulps

Gasping

And grasping

For what?

Finding my way back home

Heart-rains (heart reigns)

Both directions

Cried a river of tears

To and from that drought-choked creek

Maybe my tears will

Nurse it back to life

Small cost to pay, this rain

This broken-open heart

So full

So heavy with

Insatiable desire that gratitude

So mischievously

So beautifully

Teases out in me

What rain entices from dead wood (K Loh)

What rain entices from dead wood (K Loh)

Sunday:

Clouds were gathering.

A storm was brewing.

My practice for the day was to see love in and around me, to dwell in the heart of cosmos.*

Monday:

After threatening all day yesterday with clouds and high humidity, the rain finally made good on its promise and fell during the night. This is the first rain since Spring and I enjoyed the gentle tap-tap on the skylights, feeling cozy and secure in my warm home. “All the creatures and plants of the forest are happy,” I thought.

This morning, I took a walk on the damp trail, softened by the night’s rain. My footfall was muffled and everything felt intimate, quiet, waiting, for what I don’t know, but there was a real sense of sacredness, of gratitude, of relief.

Webs, Stars & Deep Sea Creatures (K Loh)

wet webs and galaxies (K Loh)

Rain drops clung to every branch, every spider web, glistening in the sunlight like strands of fine Austrian crystals and cast against shadowed backdrops like a Milky Way. Pungent earth aromas tinged with the spice of chaparral and pine teased my nose. The sun danced with the clouds, mosses grew greener and negative ions (those natural air purifiers) lifted my spirits. This is the Northern California that I love and to which I was first introduced when I moved north from the southern part of the state in October 1995.

I soaked it all in and it washed away my internal dust, dust that had settled in me over the dry season. My sorrows were gathered up by the rain and deposited in open seedpods which have been waiting so patiently for some nourishment. My tears and the sky’s rain echo one another. New spores and pollens are released. New life begins.

When I cry, I re-locate my heart. I feel it open and release. It hurts. It feels wonderful. Maybe if we were all willing to open our hearts and release those tears from time to time, we’d ease a bit of the pain and misery in this world. We’d have more frequent and gentle rains and less torrential, even destructive, downpours.

I pondered this:  If we have the courage to experience and release the tempest in our own hearts, we may be less likely to cast our shadows upon the world to be acted out in tragic dramas of mass destruction.  What eats at us internally, devours our world as well.

What if our tears are the rain that transmutes Gaia’s pain?

Copyright(c)September 2009, Kathy J Loh, All Rights Reserved

References and Resources:

Bruce Cockburn – The Whole Night Sky

*Tarot inquiry/affirmation – Tarot of the SpiritLightning Spiral Mystery School

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7 am – Morning sky blushes with the dawning of a new day

8 am – Deep in meditation

9 am – Clouds thicken, thunder rumbles in the distance

10 am – First raindrops dance on the foxglove’s leaves

11 am – Rain plays snare drum on the skylights

Noon – Quiet now, air fresh and sweet

1 pm – Weather? Whether?

2 pm – Sun wonders how much to show

3 pm – Wind kicks up a frenzy in the forest canopy

3:30 pm – Warm massage table welcomes me

4 pm –  surrender

4:30 pm – Tears flow, open heart, no story

5:30 pm – Sun blesses the shoreline, clouds retreat to the hills

Got my mud boots and my sunglasses on

Singing my spirit home again

Blushing Dawn (photo: Kathy Loh)

Blushing Dawn (photo: Kathy Loh)

(Thanks  to Jennifer Eisele in Santa Cruz for a great massage and cranial sacral therapy)

copyright (c) April 2009 Kathy Loh, all rights reserved

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