Best of 2009 – Part V (last part)

This is my last post in response to Gwen Bell’s #best09 blog challenge

I just could not keep up with this challenge of a daily blog post responding to specific prompts. It’s not that I don’t think it’s a great idea and plenty of bloggers have kept the faith. I’ve enjoyed reading what others have written, even if it does at times leave me wondering if I’m just old or don’t have a life anymore!

What can I say? I’m a Gemini. Yeah, that’s it. I’m a Gemini and I am a freedom lover. I don’t blog every day. I don’t stick with plans. Besides, it sounds better to say that than have to answer nearly every one of the prompts with either “I didn’t have such a moment” or “I can’t remember. Let me get out all my journals and look it up.”

Still I have this desire to complete this challenge and so, with apologies for bad meter and iffy rhymes, here is my response to prompts for Dec 12th through Dec 31st. To help your orientation, I’ve used italics to indicate Gwen’s prompts.

Except for the cactus I had in November

I’ve eaten no new foods since way last December.

I keep my meals boring to control my weight

But offer me chocolate, I won’t hesitate.

Changes I’ve made to my home have been

The absolute miracle I keep it clean.

I moved some boxes to the shed

And off to Goodwill others led.

I got a rush each time I spied

A hawk or deer or when I cried

For knowing I am so well loved

By Goddess and the moon above.

Best packaging, I’d have to say

Are new notebooks that came my way.

Punch Studio is one I’ll name

Makes Staples stuff look pretty tame.

Tea of the year I can’t vote for.

I am allergic to all tea, so

I drink hot water, with a dash

Of honey and a lemon splash.

A word or phrase to give the gist

Of 2009 without a list;

A picture, poem or epitaph

I’d have to say it’s Full Moon Path.

Where did I spend my cash this year?

What shop is irresistibly dear?

I spend my cash on staying well

With massages from Jennifer Eisele.

My camper van’s my only car

I love to drive it near and far

The best  of drives is  HWY 1

Until into Big Sur you run.

CA Hwy 1 (K J Loh)

Pamela, Carol, Julie and Lisa

Lori and Annie, Mom and Alicia

These are some of my newest friends

My mom, because we’ve made new amends.

The project I started this year was my blog

It helps me to write my way out of a fog

Out of the shadows and into the light

Of dancing with love, and freedom and life.

I cannot seem to bring to mind

A new startup business of any kind

That I came across in 2009

Other than what I plan to do with mine.

A web tool I don’t think I can live without?

If they ever make one, I’ll give you a shout.

So far this web thing has only served

To suck up my time and leave me unnerved.

What lesson did I learn this year that changed me?

That I control nothing and that I am free

That Love is the answer as is often said

That my heart knows plenty that’s lost to my head.

The gift that keeps giving that I gave to me

Was to love, love myself unconditionally

The insight or aha! or epiphany

Was that I am the drop and the entire sea.

My social web moments were blissful and fun

But my isolation, it has run its run.

The time of my healing is over and done

I’m about to become a more outgoing one.

I’m not a paper fanatic and so

I can’t vote for stationery although

I do like a slick blank page and a pen

That is purple and flows evenly when

I lay on my back with my journal upended

While the latest adventures of the day are appended.

Three more entries before the  conclusion;

A big laugh, an ad and an old resolution.

I laugh with delight every time that I see

A sign Trickster Universe has sent to me

The giggle zone is where my bro and I went

When an evening of good times and teasing we spent.

Advertizing on TV and in mags make me scream,

All lying and shouting and promising dreams

Underscored with disclaimers that spell it out clearly

Any meds that you take you will pay for quite dearly.

And so here we are at the end of the line

There is one more question before Auld Lang Syne

What did I resolve on last New Year’s Day

That I wish I’d stuck with and had not delayed?

The gift of forgetting is I can’t remember

What I might have promised myself last December!

So this year I decided to give it a rest

And not put myself through this challenging test

Which I know all too well I am bound to fail.

I’ll just pay attention and keep trimming my sail.

copyright (c) December 2009, Kathy J Loh, All Rights Reserved

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Once-In-A-Blue-Moon New Year’s Resolutions

Newspapers, blogs and newscasts are bursting with images of the past decade and best of 2009 lists. I’ve participated in some of it. I enjoy the retrospection and introspection of it all, but  today, I’m cranky.

I was going to write about the blue moon, the eclipse, everything appearing to go backwards in the sky and how that will impact our resolutions. I was going to write something about creating intentions for the new year, the new decade. I was going to suggest various activities including collages, stories and letters to self. I kept putting it off because, quite frankly, it was boring me; all this coach-speak.

New Year’s  Day is my favorite holiday. It’s a bona-fide do-nothing holiday that one is not required to spend with family. That means, I get it all to myself, at home, in the woods, and that’s usually how I spend it. I plot out what I know about the year ahead, I hike, I put birthdays on the new calendar. I dream into an entire year in one day and then I pop back again to the present. Most often I end up completely disoriented by all the “time travel.”

I pull an angel card and two Spirit Cards (I AM and I WILL) for the year and I will pay attention to how they speak to me all year long. Early in January, I attend a Tarot Pilgrimage with Pamela Eakins and I pull a Tarot of the Spirit card for every month of the year. I divine the year and then I see what unfolds.

I have intentions. I intend to make more money. I intend to find a larger home. I intend to play more music and I intend to fall in love at least long enough to have some fun. None of these intentions are new. I’ve been intending them for many months if not the entire prior year. (OK, my whole life.) I put my spirit, heart and mind into these intentions, but it takes awhile for physical form to catch up. So, while I wait, I try to keep up with the Twitter and Facebook feeds.

Here’s the thing. With all the astro-activity going on, we don’t stand a chance! Mercury is retrograde until January 15^th. That means we will over-research things before acting, we will over-think things and our electronics and our communication will be out of whack. Travel generally suffers then as well. Additionally, Mars is retrograde and that leaves us with lower energy. Mars tests us. As astrologist Risa D’Angeles points out:

“When retrogrades occur it means the information and energy we’ve built up since the last retrograde now needs to be assessed and reviewed. The entire world is to go into a contemplative phase. It is a time of retreat and quietude.”

January 1^st or not, we are in a portion of the cycle that is not conducive to starting new behaviors and ventures in an active to-do way.

Now, if that’s not enough to deflate one’s resolution balloon, perhaps science will. It seems that will power is handled by the same part of the brain that handles short term memory. The more we are trying to do in any one moment, the less will power we have.  If you want to know about the studies that show this, read the Wall Street Journal article, Blame it on the Brain.  Meanwhile, if you can be like Buddha and sit under the Bodhi tree, you might stand a chance of having enough will power to stop eating sugar, stop smoking, and keep that daily dose of wine to 4 ounces.

Finally, New Year’s Eve sees a blue moon; the second full moon in a month. This is the first one to happen on NY Eve in 20 years and the next time this occurs will be in 2028. We say once-in-a-blue moon because it means something that rarely happens. This blue moon will be partially eclipsed and eclipses mean some things will disappear from our physical reality. This might be a good thing and it might not. It depends upon what it is that disappears from your reality and how attached to it you are.

But wait, there’s more!

Risa explains that the moon goes void-of-course on January 1^st and the impact it can have is that our lives and routines may feel disrupted. Perhaps this is good if we want to change habits. Perhaps it is not.

If you are able to follow through on your resolutions from day 1, it will truly be a once-in-a-blue-moon miracle.

One step at a time (K J Loh)

So here’s what I intend to do about it:

Very little!

Very little steps

Very little effort

Here’s how I intend to be with it:

Very aware

Moving with ease

Gentle with myself

I plan on making every day New Year’s Day, evolving my capacity to bring exquisite awareness to each moment and mindfulness to activities. I plan on making every evening New Year’s Eve by reviewing the day, forgiving myself for failings and celebrating successes. I’ll calibrate and re-connect with my heart for improved navigation.  I’ll regroup and reground, so that whatever winds may blow, I’ll be in touch with that which centers me.

Things change when we place our awareness upon them.  Our once-in-a-blue-moon miracles stand a chance if we cast our intentions from our brilliant imaginations and open hearts and become present enough to be response-able in each moment.

I plan to fail and flail and sail and I intend to have a good time doing it.

After all, it’s not about control. It’s about Love.

Here’s a little Blue Moon song for you, dear readers!

Copyright (c) December 2009, Kathy J Loh, All Rights Reserved

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